1. There’s no such thing as asexuality.
Way to be close minded, ignorant, intolerant, and rude.
2. It’s just a phase.
Yes, sexual identities are definitely just phases. I’m sure you’ll turn straight/gay/bi any day now.
3. You’re just a late bloomer.
I am not a flower bud. I am a human being. I may change over the course of my life, but this I am sure about. Even if how I perceive and label myself changes one day, that does not invalidate how identify right now.
4. You’re in denial.
No, I know my own mind and body, thanks.
5. That’s the same as celibacy?
Celibacy is a choice. Asexuality is part of who I am.
6. How do you know if you’ve never tried it?
How do you know that you’re not straight/gay/into *insert fetish here*.
7. You’re just repressed.
I know myself. You’re the one trying to oppress me.
8. You’re gay and you just don’t know it.
[deadpan] Suck my dick, I’m a shark. I’m sorry, did that seem like a non-sequitur? So did your original statement.
9. You just haven’t met the right person yet.
That has absolutely nothing to do with it.
10. You just have daddy issues.
No, but now you’re making me question your relationship with your father if your mind automatically jumps to that erroneous conclusion.
11. So do you masturbate all the time?
That has to do with my libido, not my sexual identity. Also, none of your business.
12. You have no passion or love of life.
You must have a really sad and pathetic life if the only enjoyment you derive in life is from sex.
13. You’re afraid of sex.
Asexuality does not mean sex phobia.
14. You’re just selfish.
You’re just a douchebag.
15. You’ve got to want to f*** something.
I take it you didn’t understand my previous statement at all.
16. You’re afraid to get close to other people.
Sex is not the only way to get close to other people.
17. What are you interested in, animals?
Are you trying to be offensive on purpose?
18. Have you ever had your hormones checked?
Have you ever had your hormones checked to see if you’re hypersexual?
19. You’re just trying to get attention.
You’re just trying to be a dick. Guess what, you’ve succeeded.
20. [Silent eyeroll, dirty look]
[stick out tongue, make silly faces; alternatively, flip them off, preferably with a middle finger that has a black ring on it]
21. You should try Viagra.
Sexual identity, not sexual dysfunction.
22. You’re still going to get married and have children though, right?
That has nothing to do with my sexual identity. Ask me how I identify romantically. Ask me how I feel about marriage. Ask me if it’s legal for me to get married to who I am attracted to romantically. And then ask me how I feel about children. None of these things are connected.
23. You can’t be asexual because humans can’t reproduce by themselves.
[as sarcastically as possible] Yes, that is exactly how the human sexual identity of asexuality works.
24. I don’t think it’s okay for you to be asexual because I just want you to be happy.
I’d hate to have your definition of happiness if you think sex is the only thing necessary to be happy.
25. Don’t worry, I can cure you of that attitude.
That’s called rape. I may not be able to “cure” your sexuality, though your attitude is definitely the problem, but I sure can make you non-functional if you try to “cure” mine. Would you prefer blunt force trauma or something sharper?